2:56am and Disjoint thoughts

I’m learning that you cannot accept glory and shun gloom; they come in pairs. And if you can accept your day why dispel your dark? Take it, bleach it, and find what it is you have to learn from it—because there is something.

— Ofem Ubi

I have never been to an art exhibition before. The one time I really desired to attend one was when robbers decided to exhibit themselves on the Eko Bridge in Lagos. I remember waking up with half my soul in Lekki at 11 a.m.; it was only 6 a.m. in Yaba in the dingy room I slept in at my aunty’s house.

Ofem Ubi has the nicest voice I have heard, especially when it comes to poetry. I know that I am often indecisive about my “best collections”, but on this day, he wins the “best collection” award; tomorrow it might be Titilope Sonuga or Joshua.

It is 2:29am, I am supposed to be understanding the concepts of how your cells live through oxidizing glucose, but I found myself listening to Selah by Ofem;

"The way I fall at the feet of God each time,

Begging him to make something out of me,

Mama, I cannot find a raft,

You know I cannot swim,

Too many times I have been baptised,

And yet, I still don’t feel like a new creature..."

Thinking about how much those lines resonates with the voices in my head. I think I wanted to see Ofem’s show so badly for three reasons:

● The house smelled of rat pee all the time.

● I felt trapped within myself.

● I hoped that I could hear Ofem’s voice through his photographs. Or maybe in his mother’s face.

I saw pictures of the success of his exhibition displayed on his Instagram and Facebook pages that day, about the same time Sanwo Olu was trolling on Twitter for telling Lagosians stuck on the bridge during the robbery to roll up the windows of their cars and wait for it to pass. I do not know the emotions that came with these moments: anger, disgust, or pride. It seemed odd that I would feel these three emotions at once, define green.

This is the first time I have written without the help of an A.I in a while; my thoughts are the most disjointed place to be, it wouldn’t speak well of me at work.

On a very good day, I am a man.

On somedays I cannot cover enough clouds to be a boy,

So I’d become everything else,

A buck-teethed, a half-winged cherub, alumni of a gun finger

Red sea, a broken street lamp, a missing rosary,

You name it—is it still possible? 

— Ofem Ubi

It is 2:50 am; I woke up to read botany, then wished myself a collection of novels I am dying to read, as birthday gifts—my birthday is in May—and then my thoughts turned to Ofem, because I felt as though I was dancing too much to Bnxn, Buju, or whatever he is known as. 

I thought about that solemn, bright afternoon in Lagos, where I had to show my soul the way home in disappointment, and I thought to write it down.

This may be the most disproportionate thing you’ve read in a while. I am sorry; it’s just the way my head is. 

I should go back to reading Botany; I have an 8 a.m. class today...

© Mmokutimabasi Uttah

Mmokut works as a journalist for the University of Ibadan's journalism team.

She's a Content and Creative Writer.

More about Mmokut @ABOUT US or @Hall of Fame

Ofem Ubi (G.A.S Exhibition, Lagos)

Ofem was selected for the G.A.S Fellowship Awards, an Artist Residency Programme that gives amenities of freedom for creatives to work and immerse themselves more into whatever artistic practice they’re involved in.

He is a multidisciplinary artist from Nigeria who uses poetry, photography and film to preserve memories.

His poetry film, Velvet, was selected for the Fringe of Color Film Festival (2021) Click highlighted texts below to watch short films by Ofem Ubi: Velvet, Southpaw, Drown me safely, Sweet Potato 

For more info about Ofem (social media handles, etc) kindly visit the Hall of Fame page or simply click Hall of Fame

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